The basis of being a great counselor is that you can easily connect with your clients. Individuals need to feel comfortable divulging personal matters to strangers, and counselors should have that appeal. That way, they can build their client’s trust in them. But how can these professionals achieve this connection? 

There are necessary skills and crafts that every counselor must have. These skills are a driving force in helping them create a professional yet comfortable relationship with their clients. This is especially true for mental health counselors. 

Mental health counselors deal with individuals going through mental and emotional struggles. This makes their role more emotionally and imaginatively demanding than others, creating a need for these skills. The online course offered by Walsh University prepares mental health counselors with the versatility to specialize in any mental health profession of their choice. Now what are these critical skills? This article will discuss eight essential counseling skills and how to use them to foster a great relationship with your clients. 

Understanding your clients and utilizing your connection with them to help them heal is an attribute of an effective counselor. Here are eight ways to achieve that: 


Imagine this scenario: you’ve had a traumatic experience that’s left you with sleepless nights. You visit a counselor and share your experiences with them. You also realize that the counselor’s response to you communicates that they genuinely understand. They aren’t just listening to you ramble on; they understand the emotions, fear, and anguish behind your words. This is what empathy is. 

As a counselor, empathizing with your client means you’re willing to view the world through their lens. For instance, the counselor you visited in the earlier scenario probably hasn’t had a traumatic experience that’s caused insomnia. But they saw it through your eyes and understood the severity of the situation. 

What is the advantage of empathizing with these individuals? Trust. Clients are more likely to trust you when you make them feel seen and understood. What this trust does is that it helps individuals open up more to you. It tells them that you validate their emotions and understand their experience. However, empathy isn’t just about nodding to everything a client says; it’s making them feel their emotions are real, meaningful, and understandable. You can achieve this through reflective statements that mirror the client’s emotions. 

Here’s what this means. If a client expresses anxiety about a forthcoming job interview, you could say, “That sounds tough; it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling anxious about the interview.” This statement validates the client’s emotions and shows that you understand them. 

You should also research extensively. Read books, attend workshops, and engage in meaningful conversations to broaden your horizon. This gives you an insight into people’s lives, which can help you relate better to different situations. 

Communicate with your clients 

Counselors don’t just convey words or ideas; they build connections and trust with their words. This is why communication is crucial. Communicating with a client is one good way to get them to open up and discuss their experiences. 

However, communication is more than just speaking and listening. You can also communicate with your clients non-verbally. How they sit, speak, and their facial expressions can tell much about a client’s emotional state. If a client who told you they were fine is physically shaking, with hands clasped in their lap, and avoiding eye contact, they’re probably not okay. You should follow these clues and respond to them appropriately as a counselor. It is also important to be aware of what you are communicating through body language, eye contact and so on. A person may feel uncomfortable opening up if they are talking to someone sat sternly behind a desk or who looks disinterested. Being able to effectively communicate is a highly important skill as a counsellor and begins with awareness of the self and others. 

Up your emotional intelligence game

Getting pulled into a client’s emotions is easy, especially when counselors can relate to their experiences. Emotional intelligence lets you manage your feelings while being present and supportive of your client’s needs. Emotional intelligence is a blend of self-awareness, motivation, empathy, and social skills. 

Counselors can implement EI to navigate their emotions and appropriately understand and respond to their client’s emotions. As a counselor, you can also use it to ensure your emotional reaction doesn’t cloud your judgment or interfere with your ability to provide effective counseling.

You can achieve this through self-awareness. Understand yourself, visit your emotional landscape, and acknowledge your feelings. Knowing and understanding your emotions can help you understand your clients better. For instance, understanding and facing your fear of cars can help you counsel someone with a traumatic experience of cars, without going overboard. 

Be patient 

Most individuals need time to effectively voice out their fears and feelings, and one vital attribute of a counselor is to wait. Therapeutic processes are gradual, which means that no one gets better immediately. 

Each client brings their unique experiences and challenges. And while some may take longer to open up, others may struggle with it, and progress might not be linear for many who may have setbacks. Patience helps counselors respect their clients’ paces and processes.

Patience communicates several things to clients. It shows respect for their journey, validates their experiences, and encourages their trust in you. One effective way to learn patience is by integrating it into your life. This could be anything from waiting patiently in line for your coffee or reading the menu while waiting for your food in a restaurant. 

You can also practice mindfulness – focusing on the present moment without judgment. For instance, sipping a cup of tea and listening to the sounds of birds can help you cultivate a sense of patience. It enables you to embrace the present moment without rushing or yearning for something different. Stress management techniques, like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and exercise, can help you promote a patient demeanor. 

Embrace cultural competence

Cultural competence is a counselor’s ability to understand and respect different cultures, traditions, and life experiences. This is primarily to help them interact effectively with clients from diverse backgrounds. The world is growing and becoming more interconnected, which means that counselors may need to attend to individuals from diverse backgrounds and cultures. 

Respecting your client’s beliefs is a surefire way to build communication and trust. Clients will open up to you when they see that you value and appreciate their backgrounds and views. Besides, not understanding your client’s background could lead to situations where you may unintentionally misinterpret their traditions or, worse, disrespect them. 

This is why cultural competence is essential. Read up on your clients’ culture, actively listen to them talk about their beliefs and traditions, and be interested in their way of life. Knowing you want to hear everything they say will encourage them to speak freely with you.

Cultural competence also allows for the inclusion of diverse perspectives and practices in therapy processes. A counselor working with Native American clients might integrate elements of the client’s traditional healing methods, such as the talking circle in group discussions, into their therapy sessions.

Ultimately, cultivating cultural competence is a lifelong journey of learning. It’s about expanding your understanding of different cultures, traditions, and life experiences. You could achieve this by reading books on traditions or even traveling to other places. You can also engage in conversations about diversity and inclusion. 

You may have biases, and it’s okay, as long as you recognize them and strive to overcome them. If you feel overwhelmed by a client’s culture, you may seek supervision or consultation from professionals who are more familiar with the culture. These experienced colleagues and supervisors can offer valuable insights and guidance to help you navigate unfamiliar territory. 

Develop problem-solving skills

The therapeutic journey often involves confronting complex and challenging issues. Clients might grapple with emotional pain, tangled relationships, or damaging behaviors. Some might feel trapped in a maze, unsure of the way out. As a counselor, your problem-solving skills can help illuminate this maze and help them understand their problems and potential solutions. How do you do this?

First, you should help your clients identify their problems. This may involve active listening, questioning them insightfully, or introducing therapeutic techniques that encourage retrospection. For example, you can help a client struggling with constant worry to realize that their concern stems from a fear of failure – a problem they didn’t know they had – by helping them visit their past experiences. 

Once they understand the root of the problem, you should develop strategies to address it. This is where creativity and flexibility come into play. Depending on the client’s needs and circumstances, you could introduce cognitive-behavioral techniques to challenge negative thought patterns, mindfulness practices to manage stress, or assertiveness training to improve interpersonal relationships. 

However, you can’t just have problem-solving skills. You must continuously learn how it works and what you can do in various situations. Read relevant literature to gain insights into effective problem-solving techniques and strategies. You can also enroll in professional development courses that offer practical training to help you incorporate these skills into your counseling practices. 

You should also know that improving your problem-solving skills isn’t only about professional development but also personal growth. Applying these skills in your everyday life can give you a powerful learning experience. It could be as simple as managing a minor conflict at home or as challenging as navigating a significant life change. These experiences can sharpen your problem-solving skills, making you a more effective counselor.

Set boundaries

Like in every healthcare profession, it’s important to maintain certain boundaries to ensure the therapeutic relationships you have with your clients are strictly professional. Emotional boundaries, for instance, protect the counselor and client from an excessive entanglement of feelings, often known as counter transference. 

For instance, a counselor with a client dealing with severe depression may start internalizing the client’s feelings, which could affect their objectivity and mental health. Hence, you must separate personal emotions from your clients. If this is difficult, seek supervision or consult with your peers on how they’ve tackled similar issues. 

Another boundary you must set is physical boundaries. Your counseling session must always be in a safe and professional environment. This means that while you can shake a client’s hand, hugging them could cross the professional line. This is especially important in cases where the client reaches out first. Sometimes, clients discussing a profoundly emotional experience may reach out for a hug. As a professional counselor, it’s your responsibility to maintain that physical boundary. You can explain to your client that while you empathize with them, there is a need to maintain professional proximity.  

Time boundaries are another essential aspect. Adhere to the agreed session times with clients. Don’t come to work fifteen or twenty minutes after your appointment with a client — it’s unprofessional and could make your clients dislike you. You also shouldn’t extend the session because the client wants to talk more. Keeping to time can help prevent a client’s dependence on you and ensure they respect your personal time. 

For instance, you must reinforce communication boundaries if a client calls you excessively outside of session hours and guide them to appropriate resources for immediate help. The same applies to the counselor. Don’t add clients as friends on social media platforms, and avoid interacting with them outside the professional context. If a client attempts to connect with you on social media, declining and establishing boundaries in the next session is best. 

Counselors must also be cautious with self-disclosure. While sharing personal experiences may occasionally benefit the therapeutic rapport, overdoing it could distract the focus from the client’s healing process. Avoid discussing your personal matters with a client for the whole session; it isn’t about you. You must be careful not to let your disclosures affect the client’s narrative. Instead, listen attentively to them, and help them figure out their emotions and fears. Being professional can help you upgrade the integrity of your relationship with your clients. 

Be creative 

Creativity in counseling is vital to an effective therapeutic process. This doesn’t necessarily mean that counselors need to be artists or writers. It means they should cultivate the ability to think creatively and use innovative approaches to help their clients overcome challenges. For example, a creative counselor may offer art therapy, such as drawing or painting, to clients who struggle to express their feelings verbally. This provides a non-verbal outlet for expression and may reveal insights that they couldn’t speak. 

Another practical example could be working with a child struggling to open up in a traditional therapeutic setting. In this situation, you may introduce play therapy, using toys and games to create a safe, non-threatening environment that encourages the child to be freer. 

You should engage in various activities to hone this skill and stimulate creative thinking. You can read a wide range of literature to broaden perspectives, explore ideas, and write to articulate these ideas. You can also try painting or drawing to experience expressing emotions nonverbally. Experiencing this can help you understand your clients better. 


Effective counseling necessitates empathetic understanding, excellent communication, and a continuous commitment to learning. Counselors that embody these skills facilitate healing and empower their clients to unlock their potential. 


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